Breakfast

Here are the nine ways in which my long fingernails come in handy, in no particular order:

1. Wonderful for scratching backs (humans) and chins & behind-the-ear-regions (dogs)
2. They make my fingers appear to be longer than they really are
3. In a pinch, I can use them as tiny standard screwdrivers
4. Scratch-n-sniff all day long, baby!
5. For lightweight but toasty dishes, my nails function as teensy hot pads at the ends of my fingers
6. Available for use as lethal pointy talons or claws, provided I have a pair of nail clippers and two minutes lead time
7. They make a fun clicky sound when I type
8. When I need to dead-head the marigolds, and I can't find my special marigold-dead-headding shears, my nails neatly snip off the wilty blooms
9. My nails slice right into banana skins, enabling me to open and begin peeling the banana without squishing the end into a gross mess of mushiness