Kyle & Shannon in Wonderland

We thought we were going to the SAIC MFA thesis show, but no!  It was wonderland, baby!

There was the requisite white rabbit...

Then we were invited to a tea party...

My foot grew to epic proportions...

And the colors!  Oh, such pretty colors!

A little game...

Here is a fun game we just invented!  Some clever and scissor-skilled artist has recreated (in paper) samples of clothing worn by a certain character on a certain hit TV show (hint: the show ran for at least a decade and the last episode originally aired more than a decade ago).  We witnessed this paper wardrobe exhibit at the School of the Art Institute MFA 2011 thesis exhibition and were very impressed.  Here's the game: below are some pictures, guess show and the character who wore these outfits.  Whoever comes up with the correct answer (extra credit for those supported by video proof) first will win a prize: a whole package of fake OREOs! 

First, a quick glimpse of the wardrobe samples altogether, just to get you in the mood for some sleuthing:

Now, get ready.  Clean off your glasses.   Stretch your fingers and flex your wrists.  Adjust your computer screen and keyboard to the optimal positions for viewing and typing.  Are you set?  Okay, here they are, so get guessing!

A.  Chic khaki and brown checked ensemble with double row of pearls

B. Lovely dotted blouse with grey blazer and fine fishbone necklace

C.  Charming nautical number in navy and white

D.  Stunning tan concoction with matching scarf and aquamarine beads

Hello friends. Today we have a tasty recipe for you to try.

Cheetah is a great lean meat. Cheetahs often live in the dessert where food can be scarce so they don’t take in all the needless empty calories that are part of the diet of many other consumable animals. And have you seen them in action? They’re all power and muscle, and eating them puts all that goodness into your body. Cheetah can be used as an alternative to chicken for many dishes so you don’t need to run out and get a cheetah cookbook, at least not yet. Once you’ve tasted cheetah and realized how necessary it is to your diet and your life you’ll want to know what else you can do with it, in the kitchen that is, but for now, here’s a nice easy recipe to get you started.

CHEETAH & COLBY JACK QUESADILLAS

6 Servings

Prep/Total Time: 30-6600min.*

Ingredients:

- 2-1/2 cups shredded cooked cheetah. Many purists think that shredding cheetah it is going too far since it’s best when ripped directly off the bone (“wild style” they like to say) and never touched by a fancy kitchen tool, but many more practical people think that for cheetah to cook properly on a conventional cooktop it needs to be shredded first.
- 2/3 cup salsa. Pace’s is highly recommended.
- 1/3 cup sliced green onions
- 3/4 to 1 teaspoon ground cumin
- 1/2 teaspoon salt
- 1/2 teaspoon dried oregano. You could substitute Tang here.
- 6 flour tortillas (8 inches)
- 1/4 cup butter, melted
- 1 cup red food coloring
- 2 cups (8 ounces (16 Tbsp (48tsp (237 ml)))) shredded Colby Jack cheese
- Sour cream and guacamole (whatever that is)

Directions ( Guidance (Advice (Objectives (Specifications (Commands))))):

- Make sure the cheetah is thoroughly thawed. It’s best to do this in the sun. Ripping (or cutting) the meat will be near-impossible if it’s not thawed. Don’t worry if it seems a little too dried out as it thaws in the sun, you’ll see once you taste it how this really amps up the flavor. While thawing, keep an eye to the sky for vultures and eagles.
-  In a skillet, combine the first six ingredients. Cook, uncovered, over medium heat for 10 minutes or until heated through, stirring occasionally.
-  Brush one side of tortillas with butter; place buttered side down on a lightly greased baking sheet. Drop about 1/3 cup cheetah mixture over half of each tortilla; sprinkle with 1/3 cup cheese.
-  Drip red food coloring irregularly over the tortilla. Fold plain side of tortilla over cheese. (Optional: use salsa to draw a smiley face. Olives as eyes are both cute and tasty.) Bake at 475° for 10 minutes or until crisp and golden amber (not bronze or chestnut, just amber). Drip with a little more red food coloring. Cut into unequal wedges; spatter plates and servers hands with a bit of red food coloring. Serve with hot sour cream and guacamole. Yield: 4 servings (8 if you live outside the borders of the USA).


Nutrition Facts: 1 serving (1 each, each 1) equals 517 calories, 26 g fat (13 g saturated fat), 106 mg cholesterol, 901 mg sodium, 804 mm power, 27 g carbohydrate, 1 g fiber, 622 h speed, 31 g protein.

* Time varies greatly based on cheetah meat availability. Ask your local poacher prior to jumping into this recipe because you may need to contract him to make a trip to Africa for you since the corner store is unlikely to have cheetah at the deli counter. It might be worth mentioning for you midwesterners that in Chicago at the West Loop Dominick’s they have a “black market” section that occasional has rarer meats from Africa and the Middle East (white-handed gibbon = super tasty). Don’t tell them we sent you.

Blue & white

The pages of this book are all butter wrappers, but thoroughly cleaned and ungreasy.

Tiger

Tiger tiger burning bright,
Something something something night.
Etc.

The other night I think I dreamt about a tiger.  Today I saw a tiger at NEXT or else maybe Art Chicago, but not the same tiger as in the dream.  Here's the tiger I saw:

This tiger appears to have a lot going on facially.  The tiger in the dream was more normal, I think.

The strawberry day...

...wherein I unexpectedly received a bottle of strawberry wine.

Also I learned about some strawberry farmer with weedy strawberry fields.  Because some herbicides are harmful to humans, and the others are harmful to strawberry plants, and strawberry fields are a pain to weed, the strawberry farmer hatched a plan.  The plan was this:  buy a bunch of geese and set them loose in the strawberry fields because everyone knows that geese love the taste of weeds but they refuse to eat strawberries.  Unfortunately, geese are not very thorough and they leave about half of the weeds standing, and they leave other things, that is they drop them, and they're large and squishy and smell terrible. And the whole thing ended horribly-- great horned owls swooped down to the fields at night and killed all the geese, but weren't strong enough to carry them off to eat them.  The result was a field of weed-choked strawberries strewn with goose droppings & goose carcasses. 

The moral of the story:  "strawberries are stupid, even animals know it.  I don't know the moral to your strawberry story.  It's your story; you're supposed to provide the moral."

An alternate moral of the story:  Just grow a tiny patch of strawberries, one that only takes a few minutes to weed.  When you have finished eating your modest strawberry harvest, go to the store and get some ice cream to appease any remaining hunger.

Here's
what I was up to
at the MCA
         yesterday.

I
walked
all over
  this
Carl Andre
       piece.

I
read
lots
  of
words
  on
the
walls.

I
pushed
  a
couple
  of
kids
out
of
the
way
so
  I
  could
  get
  to
  this
Felix
Gonzalez-
Torres
  sculpture,
  then
  I
  snatched
  the
  top
  sheet
  and...

left
the
scene.

Here I am hiding out in one of the smaller gallery rooms. I rolled the sheet of paper because it was slowing me      down.